From being a small girl I have always been terrified of the dentist.
This wasn’t only because I was a puny nervous little thing, with a terrible stammer and an inbred sense of foreboding, it was much more…
My dentist then was Mr Remain, who operated out of a big council building on Marylebone Road. He was a jolly round little man with a penchant for a drill - but much more than that, a penchant for a drink as well. This was never a problem providing I had a morning appointment, but if it was the afternoon then heavens preserve us.
My mother would take me to see him, but she would sit in the waiting room as instructed, so never had any idea of the state he was in.
He would sway and drill away and the noise and the smell was like something out of a horror movie, and to this day I’ll never know how he got away with it. I knew something was wrong but being a good little girl (back in the day) I would never have complained for fear of being rude about grownups. Especially a dentist who was a very important grown up indeed.
Causing a scene was the height of bad manners - and the nuns would never have allowed that!
Although I had a good diet, I was clearly doing something wrong, as I ended up with a mouth full of amalgam fillings. I could go on here with the question ‘why on earth did anybody think it was a good idea to fill a mouth with Mercury’ but again back in the day nobody asked questions and we all just carried on accepting.
I can scarcely believe it now, but it was only when I got out of the chair and back to my mother in tears that she went in to find out what was going on and realised he was totally plastered.
Needless to say I never went back to him, but what’s more surprising is that although I know she complained, she never reported him, or blew the whistle on his drinking. It just never seemed the thing to do in those days. We all …they all… seemed not to want to make a fuss.
Because of my MS diagnosis I have been advised to have all these amalgam fillings removed and replaced with new safe white ones. Understandably, the last thing a body needs when it’s already under pressure is anything toxic seeping into the blood stream - and 15 amalgams are pretty toxic.
Anyway - today I began the three sessions it’s going to take to have these fillings replaced - and as I lay there totally at ease with the wonderful Mr Kettle and classic FM I began thinking about how different (50 years on) this experience was - and why people used to get away with so much.
I had ‘uncles’ who I knew had to be avoided at all costs if they had been drinking - as well as the flasher in the dog tooth coat who was on my walk to school most mornings. I told the nuns about him and I was sure they would have said/done something - but no… he was always around - and I became accustomed to that.
We all learn of course; but why on earth in those days were we/they all so scared of rocking the boat and speaking out - making a fuss. Was it a fear of authority - anybody in a white coat and a certificate on the wall must obviously know what he was doing!
My parents were intelligent successful people - so maybe it was my fault. Children who were seen and not heard had a wonderful life - with few exceptions I certainly did! But no, I think it’s exactly the same as the Weinstein case - girls from a very young age knew that they would probably be regarded as lying, or certainly overreacting had they made a fuss.
Causing a scene was the height of bad manners - and the nuns would never have allowed that!
Maybe I just put up with it because I could. Apart from the awful Mr Remain, nobody actually hurt me - I was one of the lucky ones. My parents may have been as careless as many at the time, but on the one occasion my father did suspect somebody of having ‘wrongful intentions’ towards me - he was severely rebuked and cast aside, and I was sent to school in the country.
Maybe the old have to go through stuff so the young can benefit (certainly in my case my children have). If this is the case then we should all be very grateful to the brave souls who have spoken out about their treatment from Weinstein. The fact that there have been so many of them means that the loathsome character has been so discredited that nobody would suffer for their eventual honesty.
More bravery then you young lot! If ever you know something’s not right - speak out. Every time you fear you won’t be heard or believed think of the VILE grinning face of Jimmy Saville - and speak out in honour of his victims too!
For more thoughts on this, fashion and lifestyle check out my blog Beyond Fabulous by visiting beyondfabulous.co.uk.